Although it is very important to establish a routine, life can become very mechanical if we keep on following our routine, without much of a purpose or relaxation. We all tend to fill up our schedules with this and that, that we end up barely having any breathing room. Margin is this breathing room that helps you get back on track. It is unscheduled time you can use to refresh yourself in whatever way you want to.
Establishing margin in your day is very important to avoid overwhelm, exhaustion, allow flexibility for last minute change of plans, and to be able to have a smile on your face. With margin, you are able to live more intentionally, have a more closer connection with God and thus fuel up yourselves, and better take care of your family’s true needs.
We need to take care of ourselves first, physically and spiritually, even before attending to our family. Otherwise we will be running on an empty tank.
Margin is fundamental for a balanced life.
Here are some simple steps I follow to try to maintain margin:
(1) I mainly establish margin by simplifying daily procedures.I always ask myself if there is an alternate and more efficient way to get the task done.
One place where you can drastically reduce time, is in the kitchen. I am a person who likes to get things done quickly. I used to be a person who would get easily annoyed just watching someone do something the hard way, mostly in the kitchen, LOL!. In India, everyone likes making dishes the most complicated way! Although we have home cooked meals 90% of the time with 70% of the time being Indian dishes, I rarely spend more than 2-3 hours hands on time, in the kitchen for the whole week for our family of 10, on a routine basis. This is because I stay away from the most authentic complicated dishes, and have invented my own ‘edible and reasonably tasty’ versions of these dishes. Of course, there will be times when we have guests or gatherings when I will be needing more time, and I try to cook more authentic 🙂 There will also be times when I have cooking frenzies, when I like to try out new dishes, but on a regular basis, I keep things simple.
(2) The next thing to assess is the season of life you are in and to really ask yourself ‘Am I able to take up this extra task/project/commitment in this season of my life’?
Some seasons of life may be more demanding than others. Eg: If you just had a baby, or if someone is sick in your family or there is some other emergency, etc. Such periods of time, try to stay away from taking up any new commitments that might also take away your margin.
As moms, it is very tempting to try to be everything for everyone, but that should not be the case. It is not something that can be achieved without some compromise. As moms, I believe we have a primary mission towards our family, and forming our children . Unless we fulfill this primary mission, our family will suffer a setback. Once you establish your routine, and all the ‘essentials’ are catered to, and you have large gaps of time that you are capable of taking extra commitments, go for it!
One thing you have to remember is that it is ok to say no to whatever you think will take away that margin from your life. Otherwise sooner or later, you will burn out and the whole family, suffers. Just remember that it is ok to not try to do everything or be everything for everyone!
(3) Another area I question myself is in choosing extracurricular activities for the kids. I used to sign them up for lots of activities outside the house, that I found myself running around most weekdays, in the middle of homeschooling. Nowadays, I ask myself how that activity will fit into the overall vision I have for that child, and whether it is really worth all the effort to make it to the classes, dragging everyone along, taking away from school time or family time. Also, I would be running around all day for all the activities for so many kids that it is bound to fill up my whole schedule. Wherever possible, I try to find alternatives such as Skype lessons or recorded video lessons, that they can work on their own pace. Ever since we have cut short on the number of outside lessons, we have been having a much smoother experience at home.
(4) Delegation of household responsibilities is another area where you can easily free up extra time. In our house, we have all our kids involve in various tasks and chores around the house. This not only boosts self-confidence and but also teaches good stewardship, life-skills, work ethic and team work.
By establishing margin in your life, you will be able to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, that God has in store for you. You will also have more time for building family relations and extending that outside the home to others in the community. Margin is something you have to deliberately fight for. It is not something that comes by default, as there will always be something screaming for your attention.
Action Plan:
Question yourself the following:
- Is there a more efficient/simpler way to do the task at hand?
- Does taking up this extra project or commitment still leave me with enough margin in the day?
- Determine season of life. Is there something I need to forgo this season? Should I switch things around this season? Eg: personal prayer to noon time etc
- Does this new project/commitment fit into my current season of life?
- Is there an alternative to a particular extracurricular activity that I want my kid to join? How does that activity fit into the overall vision I have for the child?
Remember, God does not want you to be running on a hamster wheel day in and day out. He wants you to have that margin. So go claim it!