In today’s culture, it seems to be the norm that we enroll kids in several extracurricular activities and run around hourly to cater to it, thus revolving one’s life based on kids activities.
While it is good for kids to be involved in pursuing interests outside of normal academics, it is also very important to keep in mind certain things before signing up. I am not at all against signing up for extra-curriculars, and we have quite a-lot going on now. But unless you factor in certain things, it can be very easy to lose perspective and motives and find your life revolving around these activities, and your life will always be on the go-go-go!
Let’s go through some of the pros of pursuing extracurricular activities. Activities can certainly develop any inborn passion/ talent or drive of the student. Some activities, can also help boost self-independence and overall character development. It also helps keep kids engaged in a positive way, not to mention the development of new skills they can possibly use later in life.
One of the main cons of any extra curricular activity is the time commitment and extra effort required from the whole family to make it happen, leading to adjustments in the overall family systems. Cost is definitely also on the top of the list. For some kids, they get too driven that it becomes a distraction for their academics. In some cases, activities are forced upon by parents on kids who have no interest at all to pursue. It is ok to check out and see if it’s a good fit, but if it’s not a good fit, it is better to divert them to something else that they are actually drawn to. Otherwise it becomes a burden on the kid who might be better off doing something else they are actually good at or have a genuine interest in.
There are kids who are naturally gifted at everything they come across and interested to do multiple things. But unless we pick and choose a handful, it can become a problem, as far as family time goes. In our family, we have a mix of kids, some who love to do every activity that comes their way and some others who mostly like to self-teach. It’s always a struggle when it comes to choosing activities.
So the big dilemma is how to strike a balance between choosing activities, family time and making sure we don’t deny kids of opportunities.
If we pick too many activities, it can be a major distraction for academics, takes away from family time, and impacts the whole family in certain ways. If we deny kids of certain activities they are driven to, it can be an injustice for them.
As we homeschool and are also actively involved in ministry, we have several things we are involved with, on top of extra-curricular activities; local homeschool co-ops/ classes/ activities, prayer gatherings, other ministry related meetings, etc. For us, we try to pick and choose, to keep a balance, having to say no to some good opportunities, as it is simply not possible to be everywhere, especially when also trying to pursue a relatively healthy family relationship.
These are some of the factors we consider while making choices:
1)Know your motive. What is your vision of the child? How do you think this particular activity will help him? Will it help in glorifying God, developing character, sportsmanship, team spirit or any other specific qualities you want to see in the child?
2) Does the kid have a passion for the activity, or is it mostly the parents choice enforcing upon the child?
Sometimes when a new opportunity comes up, we make a temporary commitment to see if it’s a good fit and whether it’s something the kids like to continue. If they don’t seem to express a genuine interest, we allow them to discontinue the activity, if we feel it’s not really worth the effort, or is equivalent to ‘teaching a fish to fly’.
If the child has a passion for the activity and want to continue, we try to encourage, based on overall family situation. There were few years we had to take a break from piano lessons, but we resumed afterwards. We don’t need to be doing something every year, just because we started it. It is perfectly ok to take a break when you need to. Sometimes the kids also come back full swing after the break.
3)Does it take away from significant family time? If so, we highly re-evaluate. For us, family time is very important, that whenever we can, we try to keep all extracurricular time slots in a way that doesn’t take away from family time. An exception is if there are several kids involved in a particular activity that the parent also has to be volunteering in. Otherwise I mostly choose late afternoon to evening slots that we can be back before my husband gets home. We usually avoid evenings and weekends for activities whenever we can help it.
Weigh pros and cons of that particular activity in your unique family circumstances. Is it something that you think will benefit the overall performance/ bonding in the family?
There were several instances I simply had to say no to invitations to small local homeschool clubs and play-groups, as I needed to maintain margin and do what is in the best interest of the whole family and safeguard our homeschool time as much as possible.
I’ve seen numerous families who don’t have any family time at all, as they are running around constantly for different activities. Unless we go about and choose wisely, and be deliberate to protect some family time, it will hurt in the long run.
4)Does this activity help to build them, or is it something that actually distracts them from other priorities? In our homeschool, we strive for “Faith First, Character Second, Academics Third”. We usually don’t encourage anything that will distract them from the above three, or doesn’t complement them. We certainly want our kids to be developing Godly character, and such activities should not stand in the way of it; instead it should be a means for them to give glory to God. We also want our kids to be academically strong and focused.
5)The cost is obviously something we consider. Especially with several kids doing multiple activities, we have to choose wisely. We also factor in the location, and traffic . Is it really worth spending all that time? Whenever possible, we do alternate classes, either online or via videoconferencing.
There will always be an abundance of activities and opportunities, but you shouldn’t feel pressured to be involved with everything that comes your way. You should pick and choose what you feel is best for your family.
You should be the master of choosing activities, and not have activities rule your life!
All the best!