So far, I have to say, I have been blessed to not have too many physical struggles in life. Other than the fact that I had broken my lower arm when I was 8 years old, which I bravely endured to the extent that the California ER physician asked if I was from Texas; and a surgery for varicose veins after my fifth child, I have relatively been having the easy way.
This Christmas Season, I had a change of pace right after we baked all our cookies for the season. We had just finished baking, and wanted to deliver the cookies relatively fresh, to our friends as part of our Christmas Traditions. We were having a jolly good time, cracking jokes and savoring our friendship. As we we were exiting the house, I badly sprained my ankle in a split fraction of a second, as I missed a step in the middle of their walkway. I had my youngest in my hand, who was sleeping at the time. Even though I fell miserably, God prompted me to lift the baby up, and so she was totally fine and in fact didn’t even wake up in the whole process!
I couldn’t move an inch. Everyone immediately came to my assistance, and my husband somehow got me into the van. My leg started swelling up very fast, and I was in pain. We put on some ice, and headed home. It was already 10 pm, and my kids had Sunday school exam the next day. Even while I was in pain, I guess I was more worried that my kids will have to sleep late, and wake up unrested and go for their exam.
Anyway, God gave us all a restful sleep and we headed to an urgent care the next afternoon, after their exam, to see if everything was ok; thanks to one of our friends who babysat the kids while we were gone. It was just a bad sprain, no fracture. Advised ankle boots, and rest. As the kids had some appointments the next day that they couldn’t miss, and I couldn’t obviously drive, my husband took off that Monday.
There were several lessons I learned through this experience.
(1)First of all I really understood God’s providence through all this! This could have happened any time when I was with the kids alone. In fact, I had driven to the same house with the kids just 2 days back for a meeting, and came down the same walkway. That day, my husband had come there straight from work in his car; so we would have had to get back 2 vehicles had it happened that day. But it so happened we were all together and my husband was driving the day it actually happened. Had it happened when I was alone, I could have been real stuck! And also if it was another place away from our friends house. If I start imagining all the endless possibilities that could have happened, in terms of not having appropriate help around, I start having shivers up my spine. God provided so much that He allowed it to happen right there with my husband, kids and friends around- all the immediate help I ever needed that day!
I couldn’t walk at all the next day. But luckily, though my parents are not here most of the time, they bought a house close by, and my mom has a rollator that she uses when she comes to the US; as she is also a survivor of bilateral leg fractures. Without the help of the rollator, I wouldn’t have been even able to go to the bathroom without my husband’s help; or even to the urgent care the next day. I felt this was also part of God’s providence to have the rollator readily available for use.
And speaking of God’s providence again, the fact that my baby slept through all this unharmed, truly attests to that.
(2) I came to understand the frailty of human life, and how helpless one can be unless helped by God. One second we were laughing and having a great time, and the next millisecond, I was down, and couldn’t move. Thats how fragile human life is. Anything and everything can happen to man. There are trillions of things that could go wrong any second. And another trillions of things that could have gone wrong with us before we were even born into this world so healthy. But on a day to day basis, we tend to forget such things and take all these things for granted. We also think it is our right that we should have both legs to walk, whereas in reality it is God’s gift to us. In fact I was grateful that I was still able to move around in spite of what happened. Had I been on complete bedrest, things would have been much different. Here I am struggling with the inconvenience caused by a slight immobility, whereas there are so many people who don’t even have a leg or even both legs, for life. This was a real eye-opener for me. Through this I came to better appreciate the frailty of life, and how our good health and mobility is all God’s gift and to better understand and empathize with the less fortunate around us. Even to just be able to step into another person’s shoe and experience what they go through every day. I needed this, and I am grateful this happened.
3) I am by nature very fast and constantly doing something on the go. It’s not my nature to sit idly . When I go into a room and see it messy, or untidy, I go about and fix it up ‘instantaneously’, or if I need to get something from somewhere, I go get it right away. But of course now with my limited ability, I had to depend a lot on my husband and kids to get things done. And since they are not as fast as I am, and have other things to do on top of looking after me, I did not get most things I asked for ‘instantaneously’. So this was a great lesson in patience for me. I think I really needed that too, as although everyone ‘thinks’ I am patient, it is truly not the case!! I was trying to accept the help that others offer, when they are able to, and be patient through the whole process, sometimes even humbling myself to accept the fact that at times I even needed the help my 2 year old was offering.
On the other hand, I also realized that even if I am not functional, the house can still be functional. The house may not be very prim and proper as we usually may have, but at least everyone was still thriving. Even though I was guiding them what all things to do, I also let go of several things I normally would not have. It was also a lesson for me to ‘let go and let God’. I learned to let go of the fact that I ‘absolutely need’ to be in control.
6) We usually have our monthly Jesus Youth Household prayer meeting at our house. Though initially I was hesitant to host this month cos of the incident, I was glad I agreed. My husband and kids took care of all the preparations. It was a great time of joy and fellowship and I was grateful for the warm concerns that everyone showed. Not to mention the fact that I didn’t need to know about anything, as the families and youth who attended took care of everything else during the meeting.
During this time, while my older kids were doing some of their school, I gave the younger kids a break. I also had to cancel a lot of the kid’s outside activities, which also meant I got lot more time. I definitely did not just stay on the couch the whole time. I utilized the time to work on all the the digital things that were pending for a while, including decluttering my numerous google drives, photo backups, to-do lists, and what not.
I was pretty severely disabled up until Christmas Eve. Morning of Christmas Eve, I was feeling better and we were able to go for the Christmas Vigil mass, with the assistance of crutches! I am slowly recovering day by day, though it may take another couple of weeks to be fully functional. And speaking of God’s providence again, this happened at a time right after I was crazy busy running around with kids activities, when things were dwindling down for the holidays.
I really needed this change of pace! And I truly believe this was part of God’s great plan this advent season, as I learned to empty myself of all my plans and shortcomings and learn to embrace the moment and learn things along the way.
“We know all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose”(Romans 8:28)
Praise God!