Hope you all have been doing well! I know I had pretty much disappeared for a long time! I realized a few weeks ago that it’s been almost 1 year since I wrote my last blogpost. Time certainly flies!
Our oldest, Anita, is finishing her Bachelors in Psychology next month. Our second, Anthony, had moved to Dallas, a year after he had completed his Bachelors in Business Management, to concentrate on his Real Estate Finance Business. The youngest is now 6 years old. I was reminded of how different it feels from years ago, when all the kids were smaller. It’s a different season of life, each extremely beautiful in its own way.
Life has been pretty full between, family, homeschooling, ministry, trips, appointments, extracurriculars, etc. On top of that, I have spontaneous requests from multiple professional level cooks and bakers as young as 11 years old, and novice cooks and bakers as young as 6 years, to cook or bake something. Our 11 year old, Abraham, made Chicken Biriyani this Easter. All our cooks from Anita to Abraham (#6, 11 yrs) use complicated recipes that involve multiple authentic steps. I myself usually make things very fast, simple, and clean up as I go. Sometimes I joke that it wears me out more to just take photos of them doing each step, than to make the whole dish myself! Also at the end, there will be at least 3 sinks of dishes. So I have been giving them my ‘motherly advice’ to keep things simple in order for it to be sustainable. 😅 But I can certainly attest that they are all much better cooks than me!
So yes, the house is still very lively and bustling with activity. There’s no difference there. But I feel now, there is a lot more to keep track of, a lot more coordination and planning involved, especially with all the moving parts of a large family. Managing schedules, activities, homeschool, commitments, conversations, etc requires a certain level of constant mental engagement. While many physical tasks can be shared with the kids, much of this mental load still rests with me. It often feels like I am quietly coordinating everything behind the scenes so the household can run smoothly.
If we don’t have a way of managing all that’s in our head, it can all stay there, creating a kind of noise, a sort of mental clutter that never really settles. I truly believe God does not intend for us to live in that state of constant mental noise. There needs to be space for peace, clarity, and quiet. Otherwise, we cannot really give our best in our vocation.
In this post, I wanted to share some things that have helped me keep my mind a little more clear, even when life is full.
Mental clutter is real, and for me, it is sort of paralysing. If my mind feels cluttered, I feel like I’m not making progress in anything. I may be doing a lot physically, but internally, it feels like I’m stuck. So for me, it is a necessity to be able to tackle it. I thought of sharing tips that have helped me along the way. I have been constantly revising my system over the years, and so sharing my current process.
1) First and foremost is getting things out of my head
Our mind is not meant to be a storage space. It is meant to be a place where we think, reflect, and process. But when it is filled with trying to remember everything- tasks, ideas, reminders, follow-ups, it becomes very difficult to actually think clearly.
For me, if something stays in my head, it keeps coming back again and again, almost like a loop. And that in itself creates mental noise. I find that my mind doesn’t quiet down until I get it out of my head. So I try to get everything out as soon as possible. Almost like a braindump.
- Tasks that I need to remember to do go straight into a task system. I mostly use Microsoft To-Do app. I have an inbox that I later categorise tasks according to urgency and relevancy.
- Pretty much everything else- Ideas, reflections, things I want to remember for later, etc go into a ‘Capture Journal’ in Google Docs. (I also have a small physical Braindump notebook for the purpose and a Goodnotes notebook, if I feel like ‘hand’writing at the moment)
In my “capture journal”, I dump pretty much anything that comes to mind throughout the day, during small pockets of time- ideas, reminders, things I need to look into, random thoughts, and even things I don’t want to forget. I don’t bother to organise it at that time. The goal is simply to get it out of my head.
Then, once a week, I try to go through it and process and organise everything into more specific places (planning documents, homeschool notes, long-term ideas, or something I can completely discard). I also have an “archive” for things I want to keep but not act on, so that the ‘active’ journals don’t get buried.
I adapt my journal structures and tabs within each journal as and how I realise my brain works, or how segregated I need the information. I have also been trying to digitise my old handwritten notes. I try to keep it simple as it is really not that easy to compartmentalise thoughts. For example, there is a great deal of overlap between actionable items from homeschooling, home management and parenting. So currently I only have 3 main journals and several tabs within each journal. (Capture journal, Spiritual Journal, Planning and Synthesis Journal.) In my experience, less the number of main journals and tabs, the better, as that can be the very source of decision fatigue while processing the journal!
Once it is written down, there is a sense of relief. I don’t have to keep revisiting it mentally to make sure I don’t forget.
Writing things down has been one of the simplest ways to reduce mental clutter.
You don’t need a digital system. I use it simply for the convenience of having it easily accessible. Writing on paper and notebooks, the old-fashioned way, works perfectly well. Anup still writes tasks on small post-it notes, and uses notebooks or notepads to jot down ideas, even after trying so many times to convince him to use a task app. I guess that’s how his brain works, and it has been effective for him!
2) Another thing I had to learn (and am still learning!) is that just because something comes to mind doesn’t mean it has to be done right away. In other words, not everything needs immediate action.
I think a lot of our mental clutter comes from a false sense of urgency.
We think that we need to do it right then or we will forget later. And before we know it, our mind is juggling 10 unfinished things.
When something comes up, I ask myself:
- Is this for today?
- This week?
- Or just “sometime”?
Most things fall into that “sometime” category. And that’s ok. Once I write it down in the right place, I give myself permission to let it go for now.
In my To Do App, I have these 3 categories of lists, and on properly analysing, it’s actually the ‘someday’ list that is the longest. I do revisit these lists periodically and bump things up and down as needed. I also set reminders for tasks, in the app, that will surface up based on the date I set, so that I remember to start doing it at some time in the future. I also set dates to remind me to cancel subscriptions etc.
3) I have been more mindful about what I allow into my mind in the first place.
Today, there is just an explosion of information everywhere. There are so many good ideas, helpful tips, new systems, and things we could be doing better.
While some of it is helpful, too much of it can actually create confusion and clutter.
If we are constantly consuming every small free moment with new information, it leaves very little room for processing. And that processing is actually where growth happens. If we skip the processing part, everything we take in just becomes more mental clutter. So I’ve been trying to be more intentional about carving out space for quiet. Even small pockets of silence where I can just sit, think, and let my thoughts settle. That is when things begin to reorder themselves internally.
Too much information after a certain point, can also end up being a form of procrastination if we are not putting that information to use. Not everything that is “good” needs to be taken in. Sometimes reducing mental clutter is simply about not taking in more than we need.
4) I have learned to accept that I cannot do everything.
There will always be more things we could do, more ideas we could pursue, more plans we could make.
But not everything is meant for this season. Sometimes, mental clutter is simply the result of trying to hold onto too many possibilities at once.
Over time, I’ve learned to be more at peace with postponing things as well as letting go of certain ideas. Things I intend to do at a later date, I put it into my ‘someday’ list in To Do App.
5) I have realized that no matter how good my systems are, if I don’t have quiet time and time with the Lord, my mind still feels full.
There has to be space in the day, even small pockets, for silence.
Especially having a reserved nature, quiet time for me is an absolute need. For me, that usually comes during morning prayer, small quiet moments between tasks, or even just stepping away briefly. Without that time of resting in the Lord, it is very easy to keep operating in a state of internal noise.
Of course, it is best when there is complete silence and I am actually tuned in to listening to what God is speaking to me personally, although any form of quiet time is an absolute must for clearing the mind. It is also during those moments that I ‘capture’ most of my thoughts. (I have a blogpost here on how to find quiet time in the midst of chaos).
Even now, I wouldn’t say I have this perfectly figured out. There are still days when everything feels like a lot. But having these simple practices in place has made a big difference in how I function day to day. I am constantly learning, adjusting, and trying to be faithful in this season, and trusting that God will give the clarity and peace needed daily!
God Bless!
Amazing ideas, reminders, practical tips. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you!
God Bless!
God bless!